Pokay-ishmon
by NekyuToi
Summary: A one-shot, showing what would happen if Ash was forced to start his Pokemon journey in a new town, far removed from his own. Based on the unlicensed Pokemon rip-offs available on the NES, usually featuring horrendously hilarious design. R & R! Suggestions welcome! No bad language.
1. Chapter 1

Pokay-ishmon

The Okay-ish Pokemon

Chapter 1: Brokemon

"Ash!" came a soothing voice from the darkness. It resonated in his ears, bring Ash to his senses. He was in bed. "Ash, wake up honey!" came the voice again, louder this time, yet retaining its sweetness.

"I'm up, mom..." he replied, pushing away the duvet that enveloped him. It was so tempting to get back into bed, but then Ash remembered that today was the day... the day when he would get his first Pokemon! He shot from the bed and leapt into his clothes; a red and white jacket with a Pokeball motif, and a blue pair of jeans, finished off with comfortable sneakers. He was ready. The journey would begin!

Leaping from his bedroom, empty Pokeball in hand, Ash, in a rush of excitement, tilted his baseball cap and threw the Pokeball violently in front of him. It smashed the hallway window and landed softly on their astroturf land.

"Ash Ketchum!" his mother screamed, sweetness gone. Threatening tones of menace appeared in her voice. "You little brat! We told we don't have money to afford your stupidity!"

"Sorry, mom..." Ash coughed out, scolded mercilessly. He smiled weakly at her.

"Sweetheart," she began, her eyes smiling with glee, "today is the day where big changes happen." she nodded her head as she spoke and actually shut her eyes as she addressed him. Ash also had his eyes shut. "I know you were so excited about this day, but there is just one tiny little thing I want to talk with you about." She tailed off with a giggle.

They sat in the living room. Outside a large truck was stationed nearby, a loud noise coming from its engine. Men were loading boxes into the truck. The house looked emptier than normal.

"Ash, sweetie." she began, as she sat down on one of the remaining sofas and handed him a scolding hot cup of tea. "We have lived here for a long time, you know." she smiled, grabbing and squeezing his arm tightly, as if in want of a reply.

"Yes, mom, I know!" Ash cried back, trying to pull free.

"Well, basically-" her tone went flat. "Your father has been reposted in Berry Town. Now usually his long stays away from home due to work-related business, and not that bitch Cassandra, have been tolerable. But Berry Town is a long way away, and you know the rent is so much cheaper there and-" she stopped here to shout at one of the removal men. "Drop that picture and I'll- "

Ash interrupted her, forcefully, grabbing her shoulders and meeting with her eyes. This was his hometown, all his (limited) friends were here! This place, population around 12, was the only place where he had existed. Were he to move to a different place now he would have to start all over again. Did Pokemon even exist in Berry Town? Pokemon!

"Mom!" Ash cried out, anxiety on his face, "are there Pokemon in Berry Town?" he asked, as if begging it were so.

His mother's smile vanished for a moment, then a look of worry, then it reappeared just like before, glowing like the summer sun glistening behind a waterfall.

"Sure, hon!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Berry Town

Berry Town was a dump. Their 'new' house was stationed between about fifty other equally decrepit one-roomed houses, where every one-child family huddled around a fire. Not only was it a dump, it was a huge dump, in the middle of uninhabitable landscapes. It was humid, yet somehow cold at the same time. The ground was thankfully paved, which was a given considering nothing could grow due to the pollution.

Ash did not let this hinder his new adventure. When he awoke to a new day in his new dwelling, he pushed away the futon cover and crept out of the house so as not to wake up his mother. His new journey would have to start now, and his mother could live better alone. She would have more space.

The ambitious Pokemon-trainer wannabe leapt down the dusty pavement covered in litter, grey like the buildings, the sky, the colour of the faces, the windows... and entered into an old shack made of corregated iron in the middle of a small ex-playground.

Inside was Professor Oa, a Pokemon master allegedly, or at least Ash's mother had led him to believe so. Oa stood before three horrendous looking creatures that twitched and shuddered as they spewed forth unbearable noises, as if it were torturous to live.

"What the hell are those things?" Ash cried, bewildered and shocked. The one closer to Professor Oa, (who was a middle-aged man with jet white hair, piercing eyes of blue, an orange jumpsuit, a metal crowbar attached to his belt, and a red hat with a O on it), had blue-skin and screeched violently. Water gushed from all of its orifices.

"That give you the one eye to called is Waterdeathblowkamon. Continue, hereas next red-skinned Pokay-ishmon Firebreathtailfireishmon."

"Are you serious? I can't remember those long names!"

"Fi-agh-bre-*wheeze*taYULfayAHishMOOOON!" screamed the red beast as it farted out a flame roughly the size of one emitted from a cigarette lighter.

"Learn be master to want if you must names Pokay-ishmon you the." Oa replied, nodding his eyes, his eyes shut in severe maniacal happiness. This aspect of people's personality did so perplex Ash, but even his mother did it.

"Just give me the green one, man." Ash asked, not exactly thralled with the notion of taking it. Unlike the others it was not secreteing some sort of flame or liquid. It was roughly the size of his head, and was basically a walking tree trunk with angry eyes and a mouth. It used its roots to walk and whip other Pokay-ismon. According to Professor Oa, this was Pokay-ishmon No. 234262E in the Pokay-ishmondex, and had over 50 palette swaps to capture, each recognised individually.

"All to them catch got." Oa giggled, with a smile, as he handed Ash his new Pokay-ishmon called Greenleafwhiprootbranchmon A. Ash referred to it as Leafy.

"GreeeeeenLEAAAfwhipwhiopprrroOOOOObrrrrrrraaanchhhhHHHmon! AAAAAUGGGHGHHHH!" it screamed, wildly flailing its painful, sharp branches that lashed at Ash.

"I hate this town!" Ash screamed pitifully.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Leafy's First Battle

"Okay, Leafy." Ash smiled, as he beckoned Leafy to the Pokayball, in an effort to get it inside. It seemed that rather than just throwing the ball dramatically at the Pokay-ishmon to retire it, one had to cycle through an endless inventory screen on ones rather-slow smartphone (that broke at any slight provocation) to swap it into the active party then retire it. It was clumsy,did not work. Leafy refused to go in the Pokayball, which was not surprising as it was in fact just a hollow, plastic ball painted red.

Ash gave up trying to retire Leafy and set about finding something. His frustration of the move and new setting had built up recently, and he could let off some steam. He approached the tall grass, aware that the same rules applied in both his former town and this horrible one; when you approached tall grass you would almost certainly be attacked. Only, in this town, when you were attacked...

Ten bee likes creatures swarmed Ash immediately, not even bothering to attack Leafy. One by one they pummeled him with their stingers, the terrifying image of a orange, pixelated bee over and over stinging, poisoning, killing, resounded in his minds eye as he fell from the brutal attack.

Ash Ketchum was just another victim in Berry Town, whose countless, merciless random battles with ridiculously high-stat monsters of doom had claimed many other such innocent lives.


End file.
